Prepared for Santa by Gary and the Elves. “Santa”, the “Santa Brand” and the “Magic of Christmas” are trademarks of Santa and associated enterprises.
As the world’s population of Children grows, Santa’s current Sleigh and Reindeer Fleet is becoming increasingly inadequate for Christmas present delivery requirements. After watching Back to the Future, Santa is considering upgrading to a DeLorean vehicle to perform present deliveries.
COMMERCIAL IN CONFIDENCE
As a prospective vendor, you are provided with this RFT in the strictest confidence due to the commercial implications it poses for Santa, the Santa Brand and the Magic of Christmas.
A key part of the Santa Brand is his use of Sleigh as his chosen mode of transport. The potential move to a DeLorean could negatively affect the image and perceived magic of Christmas for many Children and as such will be kept covert.
DeLOREAN UPGRADES & MODIFICATIONS
Santa requires a DeLorean DMC-12 with the following post-production add-ons and modifications.
Santa requires the DeLorean to be fitted with a Hover Conversion Kit to allow for easy roof access during Christmas Deliveries.
Santa requires that the original Cassette Tape Deck be upgraded to a Bluetooth compatible stereo. While Santa proudly owns the entire Gene Autry Christmas back catalogue on cassette tape, he is frankly over it since every shopping centre where he makes a pre-Christmas appearance chooses to play Gene’s damn songs for him.
Time Travel Circuitry
Santa’s current 3-dimensional Sleigh allows Santa to only come once per year, which he finds increasingly frustrating. An upgrade to a 4-dimensional vehicle with time-travel ability will allow Santa to off-load his sack more frequently throughout the year and reduce his performance anxiety.
A key part of the Santa Branding is the Jingling of his Sleigh. As such, Santa requires Jingle Bells to be fitted to the DeLorean’s exterior so that on approach and departure to a roof-top a jingling sound conjures the same mental “Sleigh” image for any Children who are still awake.
In the rare occasion that a child is not in bed and sees Santa in the DeLorean, the vehicles time-travel ability will be used to rectify the situation.
Eco-Friendly Power Module
Santa is concerned about global warming and his weight. To help counter both these issues, Santa requests the “Mr Fusion” powered version of the time machine circuit. This will provide Santa with environmentally responsible power and an on-the-road recycling facility whereby he can feed the power module all the cookies, milk and shortbread that would otherwise contribute to his weight problem.
Santa will reframe from feeding Mr Fusion alcoholic beverages to minimise any risk of disorderly time travel and will continue to consume these beverages so as to not offend any children gifting the beverages.
Santa believes that the hover conversion and time travel abilities of the DeLorean will be sufficient to evade law enforcement officials.
Thank you for your interest. If you have a suitable DeLorean with working Time Travel Circuitry and Hover Conversions for Santa, please contact Santa c/- the North Pole or comment and we’ll make sure he gets it.